


Can't Keep It In

by PattRose



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst and Humor, Challenge Response, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2013-09-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 16:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/981097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair tells Jim something and really needs him to understand.  But will Jim do that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Keep It In

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peja/gifts).



Can’t Keep It In  
By Patt

#458: Understand  
Word count: 1696

Summary: Blair tells Jim something and really needs him to understand. But will Jim do that? 

 

“Jim, I need to talk to you about something important. But you have to promise to listen to me and not go off like a wild person,” Blair pleaded. 

“When have I ever done that, Chief?”

Blair laughed out loud. “When haven’t you done it? Promise me?”

“Okay, I see your point. I’ll listen. Do I need to sit down for this?”

Blair walked into the living room and said, “I would like you to sit on the sofa. I need to have you in front of me.”

“And you’re going to be where?” Jim wondered. 

“I’m going to be the nervous roommate pacing in front of the sofa. Now, just sit down and listen. Please?”

Jim walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa. “You have my attention, Chief. I take it it’s not something I want to hear?”

“It would depend on what you don’t want to hear,” Blair said. 

“You’re moving, right?” Jim guessed. He looked like someone had just kicked him in the face. 

“Well, that depends on you,” Blair said. 

“I’ll do anything you want in order for you not to move,” Jim admitted. 

“What if I want to move?” Blair asked. 

“Then, I would do what you really want. Now, why don’t you just tell me what’s going on, Chief?”

“How do you feel about me, Jim?”

“You think you’re not my best friend? I thought we had that all figured out. You’re not only my best friend, but we’re the best of friends. I love you like you wouldn’t believe. But I also want you to be happy,” Jim confessed. 

“Are you dating anyone right now, Jim?”

“Chief, where is this going? I knew you didn’t like Michelle and I dropped her. I want us all to be happy,” Jim stated. 

“So, you’re not dating anyone then? Are you planning on being alone forever until you find a woman I like?” Blair asked. 

“If it takes awhile, it’ll be worth it. We have to work this out, Blair. You’re my Guide. Anyone in my life is going to have to understand,” Jim said. 

“I understand that part Jim, but I don’t want to be happy with any woman you find for yourself,” Blair said, softly. 

Blair wished he had a camera because Jim looked so cute, confused. He wasn’t getting this at all. Blair knew it was going to be harder then he had thought. 

“I don’t understand, Blair.”

“I’ve kept an awful secret for some time now and I feel like it’s time for me to move on, secret and all,” Blair said. 

“Talk to me, Chief. You know, I would forgive you of anything,” Jim promised. 

“What if I stopped loving you as a best friend?”

“You don’t like me? Why didn’t you tell me this, Blair?”

“Because, you fool, you would never understand. You’re not understanding it now.”

“I’m lost. So, you want to move, because you’re not my friend anymore and you won’t even tell me why I’m not your friend anymore?” Jim asked, his eyes were welling with tears and this upset Blair to no end. 

“We’ll always be friends, Jim, no matter what. I worded that wrong when I said I didn’t like you anymore as a friend. I’m sorry for upsetting you,” Blair said, trying to calm Jim down. 

Jim jumped up off the sofa and said, “Now you’re lying to me. I can tell. I just don’t understand what I’ve done.”

“You haven’t done anything, Jim. This is just too hard to discuss with you.”

Jim stopped in front of Blair and pulled him into his arms and said, “Just spit it out. As quickly as you can and that way it’s over and done with. Then we can move on.”

“I can’t keep it in, anymore. I just can’t,” Blair said, as he pulled away from Jim’s arms. “Please sit back down and I’ll try and explain.”

“Good, because I need to understand this,” Jim said. 

“That’s perfect, because I need you to understand and I don’t know if you’re going to like it.”

“Say it fast,” Jim pleaded. He had a look on his face that was readying him for the worst case scenario. 

“I fell in love and it’s not a woman,” Blair said as quickly as he could. 

“You fell in love with a man?” Jim was stunned. He was glad he was sitting down, because that would have landed him on the floor. 

“Well, there is only two choices, so yes, a man. I need to know how you feel about that and see if you can understand and live with that,”

“I’m a little hurt that you think I wouldn’t understand you being in love with a male. It happens. Of course, I understand,” Jim said, trying to sound brave. 

“So, you would be fine with me living here with a man?” Blair asked. 

“Of course, if that’s what you wanted,” Jim sounded sad. 

“You sound, sad.”

“God Damnit, why didn’t you tell me that you dated guys?” Jim shouted. 

“You don’t sound like you understand anymore.”

“I understand, but I don’t have to like it, do I? This is your home, I would never ask you to leave it. And I’m sure I’ll get used to sharing you with someone. In time. Just don’t expect it to happen overnight.”

Blair sighed, at how stupid his Sentinel was and asked, “How do you feel about the idea of male sex?”

“Well, it’s not like you’re going to make me watch, so I guess it’s all right. I’m just a little disappointed.”

“Why are you disappointed, Jim?”

“I was hoping someday you would find someone else,” Jim said. 

“I did find someone, Jim.”

“I know that. Don’t you think I know that? God, I hate life sometimes.”

Blair smiled. Even though, Jim was making this almost impossible, it was hard to stay mad at the man. 

“Why are you smiling?” Jim asked. 

“Because you still like me as your best friend and it shows,” Blair said. 

“I do love you, Blair. I’ll always love you.”

“I can’t keep it in any longer. Can I tell you who I love? And do you promise to stay calm?”

“Of course you can tell me. You can tell me anything you want to. I’m always here for you. I’m just glad it’s not Megan Connor. That would have been hard to accept. So, glad to hear it’s not her. But why would I get upset about any man you dated? Oh shit, it’s not Simon is it? Oh fuck? Please tell me it’s not Rafe or Brown. Please?”

“Jim, it’s not Rafe or Brown or Simon. You can relax a little. Wait a minute why wouldn’t you want them to be the one I’m in love with?”

“I don’t want to have to see you with them at work. Is it someone at work?” Jim asked. 

“Yes, in the bullpen.”

“One of the new young guys, right?” Jim wondered, looking totally disgusted. 

“No, this guy is about thirty-nine. You know him,” Blair said. He was trying not to smile. 

“Who in the fuck are you talking about? There is no one in the bullpen that’s that age, except me,” Jim stated. 

“It must be you, then,” Blair whispered. 

“You love me?” Jim asked, in complete shock. 

“Yes, I love you. Only you. And I do want to move out of my room and into yours. So, the ball is in your court, so to speak.”

Jim jumped off the couch and grabbed Blair and held him very close. “Thank God, it was me. I was never so unhappy in my life. I really couldn’t have understood anyone else loving you the way that I could have.”

“Wow, this went much easier than I had thought,” Blair confessed. 

Jim looked at Blair like he was an alien and asked, “You think this was easy?”

“Jim, I had all sorts of wild scenarios in my head, one being the one where you got pissed off and threw me over the balcony ledge.”

“Jesus, what kind of man do you think I am?” Jim said as he backed up from Blair. 

“One that surely must understand that his roommate had no idea how he felt about him and this same roommate was scared to death. Surely you understand that, right?” Blair looked so sweet and scared that Jim took him back into his arms. 

“Yes, I totally understand. I was so glad when you didn’t like Michelle, so I got to stop dating her. I was tired of coming up with excuses why I didn’t want to sleep over at her house.”

“You never even slept with her? That’s cool,” Blair said, happily. 

“Only you would be thrilled that I walked around horny for the last six months.”

“Not any more if you let me move out?” Blair teased. 

Jim bent down and kissed Blair for the first time. They held that kiss for as long as they could and finally Jim pulled back and said, “I’ll help you move out now. God, I wish you would have just said you wanted to move up instead of out.”

“I’m so happy that this all worked out. Now, let’s get moving and then you can have your wicked way with me,” Blair said. 

“Blair, we’re going on a damn date,” Jim said, stubbornly. 

“How about if we order pizza to the loft and then we dance part of the night away? Would that be a date?” Blair asked. 

“That would be considered a date, yes. I’ll gladly order the pizza, you get the CDs out that you want to listen to,” Jim said as he picked up the phone. 

“You are so easy, Ellison.”

“And I’m all yours,” Jim replied. 

“Thank God for that,” Blair said happily as he picked out some wonderful mood music. Blair was in the mood for love. 

Blair was sure glad that he was unable to keep it in any longer. Life was good. 

 

The end


End file.
